Professionals 💚 Cannabis:  Drug Screening

Professionals 💚 Cannabis: Drug Screening

The Lux Brand is geared towards the young professional that is making boss moves. The 20-something that has just entered the work force and dominating things. The nearly 30-something that has now started their own business and will soon be employing others. No matter where you are in your journey, we all have one thing in common... we enjoy the occasional or even daily indulgence in cannabis. 

Some of us use cannabis for medicinal purposes and others just use it as a replacement for an ice cold beer. Whatever your reason, I am in support. Sadly enough, as we know we can’t say the same for the rest of the world. Although the world seems to be SLOWLY but surely shifting its view on cannabis, people are still losing their jobs, sitting in jail, and awaiting trials for utilizing and distributing marijuana. 

I have a few unfortunate stories myself; I will just list a few.

Shampoo Method

Let's start with my first managerial role. I graduated with my degree about a year prior and was anxious to make GOOD money. I was in a serious relationship with a pretty established individual, I had a young child to care for, and just overall ambitious. I also smoked at least 3 to 4 times a week. 

I applied for an assistant manager position related to my recent degree. I received a call, interviewed and was offered the position. I was then told that I would have to take a hair follicle drug test 😳 within the next 48 hours and asked if that would been an issue.  “Of course not, I will take it as soon as possible.”

I freaked out! I did as much research as possible on hair follicle drug screening. There was so much information, it was overwhelming. This was a clear sign that this was a big problem for many. After hours of stressing, phone calls and opinions from close friends, I decided on one of the many methods provided.

I decided to purchase a shampoo from a local smoke shop. It was called Ultra Clean by Zydot. The wash is made to strip the follicle to be sure nothing shows up when tested. Due to REALLY needing the job, I decided not to stop there. I purchased items to bleach my hair blonde. I actually thought about bleaching it and just wearing it that way but after seeing the end result, I immediately dyed it back black. 

Disclaimer: Please be warned!— My hair was done! FINISHED! I should have just shaved it off! The issue was that I had already recently cut my hair really low. So I only had a little hair to begin with. If I had shaved it ALL off they would have taken hair from other areas of my body and I surely would have failed then. It was a terrible hot mess! 

The next day I went to the collection site and they cut a few plugs out of my very short hair cut and sent me on my way. I started my new assistant manager position about 3 weeks later 😎

Certo Method

Another time, my partner and I were preparing for a drug screen for insurance purposes. We attempted to schedule the test as far out as possible but not make it seem like we were running from the test. The test would be a urine screen at our home. 

We researched different  methods on how to pass urine screens. Initially we just thought it would be easier to have someone hide in the shower and pee in the cups for us. We then realized that was a weird ask of someone. 🤷🏽‍♀️

So after reviewing many different methods, we tried the "Certo Method". The recipe consisted of the items below:

- 32oz. Gatorade (My favorite is Fierce Grape)

- Certo Liquid Fruit Pectin

- Vitamin B supplements

- Gallons of Water

We also purchased drug screens. We wanted the best drug screens on the market to be sure they were comparable to what screening clinics used. It was pricey but felt worth it because we seemed to be in the predicament more than once, as well as people close to us. Knowing that I had plans on changing jobs soon, it was no biggie. 

I started the Certo method around 7pm the night before the test. I mixed 1 pack of the Certo into the gatorade bottle. You will need to drink it down a bit or it will overflow when you add the Certo. It will be a thick liquid consistency. I have heard people say terrible things about the taste. Personally, it is not too bad. It’s a weird consistency maybe due to it being a little thicker but it taste better than failing in my opinion.

Once I chugged the Gatorade and Certo mixture I started with the water. I paced myself because the 32 ounces of Gatorade made my stomach swell.  You will need to urinate at least 3 times prior to testing. I urinated 4 times prior to testing and passed.

What is very important for you all to know is that I did not partake for about 2 weeks prior to testing. During the 2 weeks, I maybe slipped up once but you get the picture. I have heard stories of people partaking regularly and failing but some have passed as well. I just want to be sure I clarify because I do know how important these situations can be to people.

Anywho, me passing that one time was not enough. I decided to take another round of Certo the morning I was expecting to test. The nurse was scheduled to stop by at noon. Around 9 am, I chugged another round. I did not feel obligated to drink as much water as I did the day prior but still attempted to at least drink a half gallon.  She arrived and I am assuming I passed because we now have insurance and have for years now.

Synthetic Urine

I had another instance with testing more recently. I was interested in a job for a large company in the area. Once I received the job offer I assumed they would tell me when or how long I had before I was expected to take it. Side note: This happened to me before with another employer, they ended up never testing me due to not testing leadership positions. Imagine how freaked out I was though! I didn’t know I was exempt from test! They didn’t tell me and I damn sure didn’t ask. I rode around with Certo and Gatorade in my car and vitamin B in my drawer. Mind you, once I started I was the one sending people for test. I was shook! 😂 ☠️

Back to the last drug test I prepared for—They ended up telling me the day before that I was going to have to take it the next day. The issue is I had been indulging in cannabis regularly. This time I had to take extra precautions. I went to our local head shop and purchased synthetic urine. You would think that would be enough. Not only was I scared to try and sneak fake urine into the test, I was testing at the place of employment. 

Have you seen the tv show "Atlanta"? The episode when she uses the pee from her child’s diaper, puts it in a condom and sneaks it in. When she is trying to get the condom undone it breaks and she loses the pee. She admits to her boss that she partakes and her boss says, "We all do! But I have to fire you because you admitted it!". That’s the type of bad luck that was running through my brain!

So not only did I purchase the synthetic option. I also did the Certo method incase something went wrong or if I was too shaky for the fake pee. I followed the same steps as the first time but I added vitamin B. The first time around my urine was very clear. Like water, not a hint of yellow. I didn’t want that this time. At my current job at the time, I ordered and reviewed drug screen results for candidates and staff. Drug screens can be flagged diluted and if a sample comes back diluted its up to whoever ordered the sample to approve or ask for a retake.  I did not want a retake! I took a vitamin B supplement each time I drank a bottle of the Gatorade and I took it 2 times while chugging the water. I repeated the same thing the following morning. When I urinated the first 3 times it was still really clear but I was passing the screening the 4th urine stream.

Not only did the company drug test, but they also do “health screenings”. So when I went in for the drug screening, the nurse wanted me to take the health screening first instead of the urine test. I was glad I wasn’t banking on the synthetic urine because it would have probably been too cold by the time she was done with me.

So I decided to just wing it and pray it hadn’t been too long for the Certo method. I tested and my urine was not clear for her sample as it was for me at home. I was so scared! I knew I had taken the vitamin B but had never seen the results of it. I wasn’t sure if I wasn’t diluted enough anymore or what! I ended up passing that test as well. I now work for a great large company and still partake regularly. Now I just need to prepare for randoms 🤔